we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
