My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
