Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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