suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
