you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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