It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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