he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
