Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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