I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I need a beard to bite.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
