God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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