went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
