But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
