i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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