She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
