Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
