She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
