guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
