Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
