Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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