I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
