he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize