My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
