I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
