I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
