1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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