If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
