I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
And then my night got REAL pukey
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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