so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dear god my vagina.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
