Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
