# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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