WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
