Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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