Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
