sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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