New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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