Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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