i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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