I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
