That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
