what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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