I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
