Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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