she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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