Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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