Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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