How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wanna go halves on a baby?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
