HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
