I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
