Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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