I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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