No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
we're so committed to being not committed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
