i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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