Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
