the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
