Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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