would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
