I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
