C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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