Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
