I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
