Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.

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(313): View more from Michigan

is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...

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(734): View more from Michigan

going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.

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(253): View more from Washington

There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.

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