Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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