Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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