so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
wanna go halves on a baby?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
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