glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
a search helicopter?!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
