god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize