the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
