hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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